This is the Serenity Prayer I learned two decades ago as a child. I had no idea what it’s true value was back then, as a 22 year old. Yes, at 22, I was still a child. This was the first life preserver I managed to hold onto with any real conviction.

Years later, I still utter these words in times of trial.

God,

Grant me the

Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The

Courage to change the things I can,

and

The

Wisdom to know the difference.

Yes, the line breaks are there intentionally.

It’s the first line that always gives me trouble. Finding the serenity to remain calm in acceptance of the thing I have no power over. I find myself once again, back under the wheel of life, being ground into the dust, wishing the pain would stop, that I would feel loved by anyone at all, that the demons urging me to just end my own suffering would take a god damned break and bugger off for a while.

At times like this, I turn back to the God I grew up with, and the powers that I am learning to put faith in.

But for the moment, while I sit and meditate, let me type out what I find Serenity to be…

Serenity is:

-the ability to tolerate an injustice without wanting to get even

-patience, it is the willingness to postpone immediate gratification in favour of the long-term gain.

-perseverance, sweating out a project in the face of heavy opposition and discouraging setbacks.

-the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat without complaint, collapse or attempting to find someone to blame.

-humility, it is being big enough to say “I was wrong.” and when right, the serene person is able to forego the satisfaction of saying “I told you so.”

-the ability to evaluate a situation, make a decision and stick with it. The immature spend their lives exploring possibilities, changing their minds and in the end they do nothing.

-Dependability, keeping one’s word, coming through in a crisis. The less serene are masters of the alibi. They are confused and disorganized. Their lives are a maze of broken promises, former friends, unfinished business and good intentions that never materialized.

Serenity is the art of living in peach with that which we cannot change, the courage to change that which can be changed, and the wisdom to know the difference.

-post script-

heavy words in there,

Patience.

Perseverance.

Humility.

Dependability.

Time to pray. Thanks for listening.

Duke.

Care to buy me a coffee, or y’know, support the server fees? 

paypal.me/DukeofChaos