I Am Not In Control, I Hope God Is.

I Am Not In Control, I Hope God Is.

Courage To Change – September 16, 2020

There’s a meme somewhere that asks “Do you ever wonder if you’re in season five of the episodes of your life, and the writers/directors are just tossing in random crazy stuff to keep the audience interested?” Life goes like that sometimes. It really really does. My life, if you read the previous two posts, is really not good of late. Too much stress, too much pain, not enough connection and self-love, all in all, it’s a damned mess. Emphasis on the Damned part if we’re asking about my feelings on this matter. But today’s reading brought tears to my eyes and a whisper of hope to my bleeding heart. I am not in control. I am powerless over the outcome of my actions and how other’s may respond to them. I can try (or not) to make choices for good (or reactively destroy everything) but ultimately the results of those choices are out of my hands. My actions are mine, their results I can be held responsible for, true, but what actually happens is beyond my control. A benign example if you will. I am heading out to get firewood here shortly (in a day or two), and will be cutting down standing dead trees that need to come down, for the purpose of turning them into firewood. I can scout the trees, choose how and where to cut at what angles and use all my skill to try to have the tree fall in the right spot, but ultimately when it’s starts to fall, the results of all my actions to this point are out of my hands. The tree will now fall where and how it wants to based on more factors than I can control. Life is also like that I suppose. My actions, my choices, my decisions, my responsibility. But in the end, I am not in control, I truly hope God is.

Quick and Simple Disclaimer: The readings in this post are literally taken wholesale out of the book entitled Courage to Change. You can find it at Amazon, Here. The portion entitled Alleged Insight, well that mess is all me.

If you’re an introvert, go buy the book, if you’re a broke introvert, the text from many good books can be found HERE , if you’re in dire straits however, go find an Al-Anon Meeting, it saved me. *None of these links are affiliate links,

So onward to Today’s Reading

Normally I’d have a picture of today’s text here for your edification, but I am sorry, I don’t have that picture available for today’s reading. You’ll have to pick up a copy of the book for yourself.


In the fact of seemingly impossible problems, it is easy to believe that our most negative thoughts reflect the truth. They plead the worst case scenario in a very convincing way, until it almost seems frivolous to consider a positive outcome. Yet the loudest voice is not necessarily the truest.

No matter how insistent a feeling may be, it is just a feeling, not a prophecy. We don’t get to know today what will happen tomorrow. Counting on any particular outcome can lead to disappointment, but sometimes it helps to remember that a positive outcome is just as likely as a negative one.

We are powerless over the results of our actions. We can try to make wise choices [I fail so hard at this one] today, but what will happen in the future is out of our hands. Since we can’t know what to expect, why not trust that a Higher Power can use whatever happens to further our growth?

Today’s reminder

Today I will place the future in my Higher Power’s hands. I trust that by turning it over, it can be used for my good.

'This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.'  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Alleged Insight:

Truthfully, there’s not much more to add that I haven’t already said in the title and first paragraph above. It’s out of my hands, and I am tired. See I have this little girl, and she fell asleep at about 8:30 last night, but then woke up at around 12:45 am here on me. I spent the next hour after that trying to settle her back down. Thus by 2:00 am, she’s sound asleep on the couch and I am wide awake. So I thought to sit and read today’s reading. God’s plan for me? My actions and choices? I don’t know. All I really know is that today I have the reading inside of me now and this post has been done, and I have some solid insight on things that means I stand a better chance of getting through today without it going so horribly wrong like it has in the past few days.

I’ll leave you with this and try to get back to sleep for the three hours I have until the boys need to be up for school.


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