When you’re attacked, or under pressure, the main responses are to freeze or run. Changing that up so that you can choose the right response is critical. Responding to a situation requires flexibility. A certain adaptability is required to pick the best path, especially when the path through the darkness is riddled with traps and dangers. We need to be adaptable; adaptability is key to surviving and thriving in the madness that sometimes surrounds us at every turn.
Quick and Simple Disclaimer: The readings in this post are literally taken wholesale out of the book entitled Courage to Change. You can find it at Amazon, Here. The portion entitled Alleged Insight, well that mess is all me.
If you’re an introvert, go buy the book, if you’re a broke introvert, the text from many good books can be found HERE , if you’re in dire straits however, go find an Al-Anon Meeting, it saved me.
Photo-Credit: Spotsoflight@Pixabay
Today’s Reading
ODAT November 9, 2012 – Change It Up, You’re Adaptable
We humans are wonderfully adaptable. We find creative solutions to impossible situations. One coping skill that some of us develop is manipulating other people in order to get what we want. Alcoholism can create such a threatening environment that manipulation seems necessary. Today, with the help of Al-Anon, we are learning to do more than merely survive, and such manipulation becomes unnecessary and unacceptable. In Al-Anon we learn healthier ways to meet our own needs and to behave toward others.
Manipulation had been a normal part of my life for so long that I forgot how to have a discussion or make a straightforward request. If I wanted someone to do the dishes, I tried to make them feel guilty by telling them how much I had done for them, or I complained that they never did their part. It never occurred to me that I could simply and politely ask for what I wanted, or that I could accept my request being turned down! But I’m learning. A day at a time I’m learning.
Today’s Reminder
Today I am creating a better way of living, free of guilt and deception.
Quote
“We choose to behave with personal integrity, not because it will make someone else feel better, but because it reflects a way of living that enriches and heals us.“
. . . In All Our Affairs
Alleged Insight:
So, manipulation hey?
Yeah, I’ve heard of it.
Hell I got it leveled at me on an hourly basis back when I worked in an office, and let me tell you, its’ frustrating as hell to have to face that down, time and time again. I sound like a selfish sonovabich rather than a team player when I repeatedly set those personal boundaries and defend them.
I’ll do what I can, as I can for as long as I can, but I refuse to act guilty because somebody else is overwhelmed, because they left the deadline until it was too late, or because they saw the whole picture without understanding the situation. I can sit here and rationalize this until the sun finishes getting it’s tired butt over the crest of the mountains and heads to bed, but the truth is that I do have work to do and this is a sore topic with me (but you’ve figured that one out haven’t you?).
Closing thoughts:
I do my best to avoid manipulating others, but I slip occasionally. My personal demon wearing this label is that I tend to run afoul of people who like to pas the buck, refuse to stand up to their own failings, and then try to make their problems mine. I’ll help as I can, but I have a live to live as well, at work, in church, at home, wherever. So, good luck and have a blessed day.
P.S. – Sorry for the growly tone of this one but, but I need another coffee before the last one kicks out.
Photo Credit – Lood Goosen @ Pexels