Learn To Live Your Life By Living
Courage To Change – December 1, 2019
There was a line from somewhere, I can’t remember where I heard it first. The wording was along the lines of “Life is not for the faint of heart. Live your life like you mean to do great things and when you’re done, you will have done great things. In essence, simply observing life isn’t the point. Record all the things you must by all means, but don’t forget to be involved in all the things as well. Life your life, and learn to live your life, by living it. This precious gift of today should not be taken for granted.
Quick and Simple Disclaimer: The readings in this post are literally taken wholesale out of the book entitled Courage to Change. You can find it at Amazon, Here. The portion entitled Alleged Insight, well that mess is all me.
If you’re an introvert, go buy the book, if you’re a broke introvert, the text from many good books can be found HERE , if you’re in dire straits however, go find an Al-Anon Meeting, it saved me. *None of these links are affiliate links,
Today’s Reading
Quoted from Page 336 in “Courage to Change“
Al-Anon was the first place I’d been in a long time where people invited me back even after listening to my woes. I’m so grateful that the did, because Al-Anon was my last hope – I thought that I would kill myself if I didn’t do something about the alcoholism in my home. Later, when members of the group asked me to make coffee, I was happy to do anything to repay them for their love; yet no payment was required. They loved me whether I was involved in a service or not, even when I couldn’t love myself.
Al-Anon is the only thing in my life that I’ve been dedicated to, the only thing I’ve ever felt consistently good at. As I do service work, I see myself accomplishing things, giving, receiving, growing. I see my progress as I learn to learn, and as the lessons become part of me, I take them into all areas of my life.
Today I like to think that I get to take an active part in the growth of Al-Anon through service. I’m not doing Al-Anon a favor, Al-Anon is doing me one. It actually thrills me to remember that. I’m allowed to take part! You let me!
Today’s reminder
Listening, hearing, thinking and reading about a spiritual awakening are fine, but if I really want this gift, there is something I can do about it: I can get involved.
Quote
“What we learn to do, we learn by doing.”
Aristotle
Alleged Insight:
It’s taken me the better part of twenty years to learn even the smallest portion of this lesson. I am a quite introspective person when left to my own devices. I do not, of my own accord, get out there and make a difference. Participating in my own life let alone other’s lives, is not something that even remotely crosses my intentional awareness.
But now I’ve this amazing family, with five vibrant children and a wife who is so very much ‘all that’ but can’t see it in herself, that I am required to up my game. Getting up every day and participating is no longer an option. I am required to take care of these people, they’re mine to care about.
Now, I came into this marriage with a huge pile of baggage, and had convinced myself that I had dealt with most of it.
I was wrong.
Not being triggered is not the same as being in good mental health.
I was a master at evasion; avoiding those things that were going to cause issues, were going to leave me an emotional wreck. This, while a valid coping technique, is not a good path to mental health. Constantly running away from what scares/bothers/upsets you just leaves you unable to cope with these things when you finally can’t get away anymore.
With the first boy born thirteen years ago, I found myself with a child and a wife in an emergency medical transport plane headed to a specialist hospital six hundred kilometers away from home. Things were getting really really real. I was their support. There was nobody else. I had to step up and perform.
That moment, watching the wings of the plane flex and shiver in the turbulent air as we hurtled towards Vancouver, I had a rather abrupt awakening. It was time to face the demons, time to start to be present in the life I’d been coasting through.
Up to now, I had been an observer (mostly) watching and avoiding. Not learning how to best handle the difficult things that were coming my way.
That boy was the first of five children with specific needs and issues that required a full time, fully involved father. I was not going to be the dad who brings home money, has selfish personal pursuits and never spends the time to connect with his children or wife.
Closing thoughts:
It’s been more than a decade since that first boy was born, and the roller coaster of life hasn’t stopped since. I am nowhere near the best version of myself that I could be, but by the grace of God, I am getting better, one day at a time.
Duke.