Taking care of yourself first is sometimes the best option

Taking care of yourself first is sometimes the best option

Courage To Change — October 16, 2019

Soemtimes, when we’ve done all we can, and there’s naught to do but scream, we need to step back and shift focus. Often, taking care of yourself first is your best, and sometimes your only option in a spread of lesser choices. Life is about balance. While we constantly try to work on the issues outside our own body, we are important and deserving of kindness as well. Remember, broken people make broken people. Healthy people raise up healthy people.

Quick and Simple Disclaimer: The readings in this post are literally taken wholesale out of the book entitled Courage to Change. You can find it at Amazon, Here. The portion entitled Alleged Insight, well that mess is all me.

If you’re an introvert, go buy the book, if you’re a broke introvert, the text from many good books can be found HERE , if you’re in dire straits however, go find an Al-Anon Meeting, it saved me.

Thus, – Today’s Reading

When I am trying to tackle a tough problem or cope with a stressful situation, and I’ve done all I can for the moment, what then? I can do something that will nurture my mind, body, or spirit. Perhaps I’ll take a walk or listen to music. Maybe I’ll meet a friend for coffee and conversation. I could have something nutritious to eat, or sit quietly and meditate, or read a book.

Al-Anon is a program of action in which we recognize that we have choices about what we do with our time. A bubble bath, a massage, an Al-Anon call, a bike ride, or a nap might be constructive ways to fill time that might otherwise be wasted on worry.

Even though I may be powerless to change my circumstances, I certainly am not helpless I can use my time to do something good for myself. When I treat myself with love and tenderness, I am better able to deal with the challenges that life presents. I have a chance to feel good, even when surrounded by crisis.

Today’s reminder

One of my primary responsibilities is to take are of myself. I will find a small way to do something for my mind, body, and spirit today.

“… part of my recovery is respecting my need and my right to let go and relax.”

…In All Our Affairs

Alleged Insight:

Oh God, asking a workaholic to let go and relax, when there’re kids to be fed, bills to pay, renovations to do, and likely in the middle of it, somebody’s bleeding or needs to go to the hospital? A losing proposition from the start.

As I’ve mentioned, both my wife and I come from unsettled backgrounds, and we have five gorgeous, amazing kids that drive us to distraction. This reading feels (to me at least) as though somebody is all alone and spinning their wheels uselessly while unable to affect their qualifier or the events there-about. But The nature of the readings in these books is that you can usually fit it to your own situation. Today’s reading is no different from any other.

Life is Chaos (yeah, it’s my usual claim), and the truth is that getting stuck in negative thought and emotional cycles is part of the obstacle course I’m trying to navigate through as a recovering adult in this madness called life. For some of us, the thought of just letting go and relaxing is a pipe dream, but it can be made to happen.

The take-away is that self care is critical. I can’t be a good father to my children if I’m a wreck in real life. I can be okay, I can be supportive, but I won’t be able to shine as a beacon of fatherhood (yeah, egotistical much?) if I can’t even clean up good and feel at peace in my own head.

Closing thoughts:

I am likely more guilty than most of letting my inner mess out to play where others might see it. I fail in front of my kids more than I’d care to admit, and I am guilty of not being the best version of myself on each and every day.

I often get drawn into the trap of thinking that there’s no room in my life for me, and that service to others comes before and instead of taking even a few moments for my own self.

Today’s focus will be on remembering that five minutes for me means that the kids will get a much better version of me for them.

P.S. We need to start talking about this crap, or our kids will have to fight our demons. I don’t know about you, but I sure as hell don’t want to leave my demons for my children. Duke.

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