Restarting the steps of recovery, back at square one.

Restarting the steps of recovery, back at square one.

Courage To Change – April 5th, 2019

Apparently I needed to read this today, not three days ago, so being too busy to post seems to have worked out this time. Anyhow, yes, I am once again restarting my steps of recovery; all the way back at square one. This recovery thing is a journey, but not a direct one, it’s more of a repetitive circular ramble in the general direction of not worse.

Quick and Simple Disclaimer: The readings in this post are literally taken wholesale out of the book entitled Courage to Change. You can find it at Amazon, Here. The portion entitled Alleged Insight, well that mess is all me.

If you’re an introvert, go buy the book, if you’re a broke introvert, the text from many good books can be found HERE , if you’re in dire straits however, go find an Al-Anon Meeting, it saved me.

So onward to Today’s Reading

As wonderful as it is to see a loved one find sobriety, it often presents a whole new set of challenges. After all the years of waiting, many of us are dismayed when sobriety does not bring the happily-ever-after ending we’ve awaited. We once knew exactly what to expect, and now everything suddenly seems different. The homebody is never home; the life of the party is always sleeping; communication, intimacy, sex, responsibilities, and decision-making all change. At the same time, problems that we always attributed to drinking may persist even though the drinking has stopped. This stirs up some very strong feelings within many of us.

Even long-time Al-Anon members may find it more important than ever to go back to the basics of our program and learn once more to focus on ourselves. It’s all right to feel disappointed, skeptical, resentful, joyous, excited, or confused about our changing circumstances. By accepting what ever we feel and sharing about it with other Al Anon members, we are better able to take care of ourselves.

Today’s reminder

I will allow myself the dignity to discover exactly how I feel about the changes that are happening today, and I will share those feelings with an Al-Anon friend.

“Al-Anon gave me the awareness that what I felt did matter.”

.. . In All Our Affairs

Alleged Insight:

Oh my. Where to start. First, yes, I did need to experience this past couple of days before I could read and appreciate today’s insight. See, I’m an ACOA, I really really am. I married a drop dead gorgeous brunette with eyes I could drown in. She’s also an ACOA.

We weren’t supposed to be able to have children. Ever. Period. God had other plans. We have five.

It’s been a stressful and manic and kinda insane week. Hell, since last Friday I’ve put in a full 50 hours worth of billable work.

I think I need to find an online connection (e-mail buddy) of a sponsor type. From moment to moment, we are constantly hammered as fathers, mothers, adults in this insane always on and connected world. To be able to step back and explore how you’re feeling, that’s a treasure and a boon that so very many of us don’t have nearly enough of.

Closing thoughts:

I feel, often, like I am in a movie script, days unfold with one surprise and crisis after another. It can be likened to the story arc of a good thriller.

I have been unfolding the Al-Anon program and working the steps, kinda haphazardly. I think it’s time for me to rustle up the ACOA 12 Steps and begin again, all over again. Sometimes we have to go back to the start and re-trace our steps, in this case both literally and metaphorically.

Good luck, and I”ll be in touch, there’s still too many feelings to process and present in a good manner.

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