Starting over is Cathartic

Starting over is Cathartic

Courage To Change – August 17, 2020

Fall down seven times, get up eight. That’s a line that I read somewhere, probably a Chinese philosophy book when I was looking into Karate. The lesson is on point however. In recovery, it’s not a straight line. Hell, it’s not even a twisted continuous line. My recovery looks like a dotted line with gaps and page changes and wholesale plot jumps in it. But the best part about a path of recovery is that no matter how many times we get derailed, each day is a new chance to start again and try to do better than the day before. Each time you start over, you get a chance to transcend your past mistakes. Starting over is cathartic

Quick and Simple Disclaimer: The readings in this post are literally taken wholesale out of the book entitled Courage to Change. You can find it at Amazon, Here. The portion entitled Alleged Insight, well that mess is all me.
If you’re an introvert, go buy the book, if you’re a broke introvert, the text from many good books can be found HERE , if you’re in dire straits however, go find an Al-Anon Meeting, it saved me. *None of these links are affiliate links,


So onward to Today’s Reading

We sometimes forget what a painful experience it was to come to our first Al-Anon meeting. Remember the whirling thoughts, the fears, the uncertainty? Uneasy questions came crowding into our minds: “Is it the right thing to do?” — “What will she say if she finds out?” — “Am I disgracing my family by admitting that —– drinks too much?” — “What if somebody tells I was there

Then we were reassured to discover that Al-Anon has a protective cloak of anonymity for us. Every member understands that no word of the proceedings must ever go beyond the meeting room, and especially that no names should ever be mentioned.

Today’s reminder

The newcomer to Al-Anon immediately feels comforted and safe when he learns that he can talk freely without fear of having anything repeated. We owe him this assurance. We are committed to it by our own Traditions, as well as by our personal need for protection against careless gossip.

I will remind myself daily that I must guard against revealing anything concerning Al-Anon or an AA member.

Tradition Twelve: Anonymity is the

spiritual foundation of all our

Traditions, ever reminding us to

place principles above personalities.

Alleged Insight:

To walk into a meeting again, for the first time. To know that you’re going to face those individuals who have already heard it from you before.

Just knowing they know, is so intimidating. So scary. But in these meetings, in these circles of support, starting over is merely that. No judgment, no shame, no guidelines to meet aside from being supportive and maintaining the anonymity throughout. Starting over, accepting my past, my mistakes, and generally not giving me too hard a time about it allows me to get on with the ‘taking action’ stage of recovery.

Wallowing in the self-flagellation stage never helped anybody. I don’t know about you, but passing through the self-criticism stage is like a fire swamp with hidden quicksand pits that I have to pass through while blindfolded in a heavy fog. Knowing that the only one keeping me from getting through it is me (My own worst enemy), perversely helps me to pass through this stage and learn from it.

Closing thoughts:

When I fall, the biggest issue I used to have to face was getting back up. Over time the getting up part was easy enough, but I kept repeating the old patterns. The important part became learning from my past mistakes, and then Starting Over with a new game plan.

P.S. We need to start talking about this crap, or our kids will have to fight our demons. I don’t know about you, but I sure as hell don’t want to leave my demons for my children. Duke.



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