What You Say Here, Let it Stay Here

What You Say Here, Let it Stay Here

Courage To Change — April 3, 2019

Ironic that this is hosted on the internet, where anonymity is always an option, and security is usually absent. One of the principle tenants of any 12 step program is anonymity and security so that true healing can begin. Now, obviously “m not following that tenet because I am the one posting these things, opening up and sharing so that others might not feel so alone or desperate. But the premise still holds true. Recovery is an individual process, as much as it’s a group effort. So what is said here, let it stay here.

Quick and Simple Disclaimer: The readings in this post are literally taken wholesale out of the book entitled Courage to Change. You can find it at Amazon, Here. The portion entitled Alleged Insight, well that mess is all me.
If you’re an introvert, go buy the book, if you’re a broke introvert, the text from many good books can be found HERE , if you’re in dire straits however, go find an Al-Anon Meeting, it saved me.

So onward to Today’s Reading

Many of us resisted comign to Al-Anon because we didn’t want anyone to know about our problems. We feared that our boss or our friends would find out, or that it would get back to the alcoholic.

These fears accompanied me to my first Al-Anon meeting. To my horror, just as I sat down one of my neighbors walked into the room and sat down across from me. What could I do now? Run?

In the midst of my panic, I noticed a sign on the table that said, “Whom you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here.” And on the wall I saw a banner with the Traditions, one of which said that anonymity is Al-Anon’s Spiritual foundation! I stayed for the meeting, but I still worried.

My neighbor never said a word to anyone. In time I began to trust that it was safe to get the help I so desperately needed, because the only one who would ever mention my membership in Al-Anon was me. To this day, I am confident that my anonymity was and always will be protected, and my gratitude is beyond measure

Today’s reminder

Unless I protect the anonymity of all members, Al-Anon will not be a safe place for any of us.

“Our free expression – so important to our recovery – rests on our sense of security, knowing that what we share at our meetings will be held in strict confidence.”

Alleged Insight:

AAiieeee….. my head hurts with this one. Anonymity, yeah, security, yes, yet anybody with any reasonable connections or skills will be able to find me.

But I’m okay with that. See, my situation is a little different. I know my demons, I have had them round for tea a few times now. Held in strictest confidence, I totally get that, and as a result, the odds of anybody opening up in the comments on these posts isn’t very high.

BUT! I don’t need you to. My therapy is words. Journaling, and working out the feelings and all that jazz, this is a good forum for me. And in my darkest times, I wished there was somewhere simple that I could follow up the readings from the day, with some insight from another soul ( like I am writing here) so I didn’t feel so alone. Being an introvert, with few real connected friends, reaching out to a person to talk about these things is not how I actually work.

So I needed something like this blog, but couldn’t find one. Hence, here we are again. (This is my third such series of blogs, the other two are archived somewhere and were good in their time).

Closing thoughts:

I would like to point out that the give and take is important, very important, to most humans, and if you can’t make it to a meeting, or you don’t have a friend to call up for coffee and a deep talk, then there are really good forums on the Al-Anon Site, you can find them HERE .

Finally, take advantage of all the privacy and security measures you know how to use regarding the internet and personal accounts, then do what you need to do for yourself. After all, if your recovery stalls, it’s not only you that suffers.


External Links:


unofficial Al-Anon Support network online, go take a look around. There’s some good resources and some amazing people there.

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